Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
