Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
