Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
