Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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