so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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