closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
