I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
