Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
