whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
