doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
