i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
