I didn't shave. On purpose
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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