508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize