you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
