i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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