I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
