dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
