Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
