i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
