In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My pussy is not your playground.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
