I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
