So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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