OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize