how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
