I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
