i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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