I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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