If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
