I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
