his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
