Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
