Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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