i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize