I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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