don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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