I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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