Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
