you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
