Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
