They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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