I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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