So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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