I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize