It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize