garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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