I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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