God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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