also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just google imaged poop.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
