You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
