im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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