brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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