What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
