i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
