She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize