this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize