But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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