is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
two words: eviction party
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
