My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
