She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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