I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
