You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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