angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize