just tell him i said nine months
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
