We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
