They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
