There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
